


Bed and Breakfast

by GenerallyHuxurious (GallifreyanOmnishambles)



Series: Huxurious Huxloween [7]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Consensual Somnophilia, Deception, Dream Sex, Facials, Ghosts, Haunting, M/M, Mitaka is a creep, Multiple Orgasms, Murder, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Paranormal Investigators, Past Character Death, Period-Typical Homophobia, Phantom of the Opera Reference, Pornographic antiques, Robbery, Sleep Sex, Sleepy Sex, Spitroasting, Threesome, erotic pocketwatch, they're a thing look them up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 01:41:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8231707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanOmnishambles/pseuds/GenerallyHuxurious
Summary: Set in The Eldritch Effect universe. Kylo and Hux are having a lot of fun celebrating their first wedding anniversary. Until they realise they're not alone... [For Huxloween Day 7]





	

“Ah, Hux!”

Determined to drive his husband over the edge, Hux arched his back and clenched every muscle that was still willing to acquiesce to his commands. Since they'd been fucking for three hours and he'd already come twice that wasn't many of them, but the few muscles that hadn't been fucked to the consistency of putty made an admirable effort at squeezing the thick length driving into him. The position was awkward, his knees having long since given out so that he was plastered flat to the mattress, but it was rare that they indulged in barebacking and Hux might be becoming a little addicted to the sensation of being filled with Kylo’s seed. 

“Come in me, come on Kylo, come in m… Aaah yesssss.” Hux groaned into his pillow as he came against the sheets, his cock raw and his balls aching but still twitching with excitement as he felt Kylo's own sac tighten against his perineum. “Come ON…”

“Fuck, I love you, I love you, I lo….” Kylo said like some kind of pray against the back of Hux’ neck as he tensed. “Oh god, aaaahhhh…”

Hux sighed with exhausted satisfaction as the hot pulses filled him. He could feel the smears of his own cold and drying come against his stomach, and the sticky mess of lube and Kylo’s spend slipping steadily down his thighs. He knew that eventually he'd realise how disgustingly filthy it was and how urgently he needed a shower, but for now he just wanted to bask in the physical evidence of his husband’s love. 

Sleepily he reached back to pat one muscular buttock then squeezed lightly-  _ stay there, don't move. _ Kylo rumbled an unintelligible response, nuzzling into his ear.

“Hmm?”

“Happy anniversary, Donal.”

Hux chuckled slightly, Kylo must be really shagged out if he was using his proper name. “Happy anniversary, Kylo, thank you for the holiday.”

“ _ Thank you _ for marrying me.” 

“Well I couldn't just let you roam free where…” Hux cut himself off with a yawn, “where just anyone might find you and get their arse utterly ruined. Selfless act really, for the good of humanity.”

“Yeah right, wasn't General Deepthroat finally faced with a proper challenge then…” Kylo yawned as well, his jaw cracking like a gunshot so close to Hux’ ear. “Hux I’m gonna fall asleep, I should get off you.”

Hux tightened his grip, wriggling slightly to free his other hand and place it on the other buttock. There was a groan and a slight twitch inside him at the movement. He grinned into his pillow. He'd never known anyone as insatiable as Kylo. The man claimed it was to do with his telekinetic talent but Hux sometimes wondered if he were actually part incubi.

“Donal, seriously, one or more of the following is going to happen if I sleep here- I'll crush you, I'll sleep fuck you or I'll slip out and four orgasms worth of cum is going to go all over the sheets.”

Hux sank his nails into Kylo’s backside and languidly rolled his hips. “Point one- no you won't, you've slept on top of me any number of times. Once you fall asleep you get a lot lighter. It's like having a very muscular, very horny duvet. Point two- please do. Point three- I don't care, I'm warm and comfor…”

“Donal Hux, a man who anti-bac’d his hands three times before dinner because he ‘touched a pigeon feather’, doesn't care about being covered in cold, gross come?” Kylo asked with mock incredulity.

“Provided I get to spend the night feeling this good I frankly wouldn't care if you woke me up by coming all over my face and in my hair. The hot water won't be on for the shower until the morning anyway.”

“Oh.” There was a long thoughtful silence and a definite swelling of the member still in his arse. Finally Kylo said in a small voice. “Can I?”

“Hmm?” Hux murmured, more than half asleep and rapidly losing track of the conversation.

“You look so pretty when you sleep… Can I come on your face to wake you up?”

“Sure, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't want you to… But we have to actually go to sleep first Kylo.”

Kylo snuggled closer, his forearms settling either side of Hux’s torso to take a little of his weight.

“...’kay…”

* * *

It really was a wonderful dream, one of his very favourites. Leaning against the plush velvet covered railing of box five of the Paris opera house, his tuxedo trousers pulled down to his knees, Kylo’s wonderful thick fingers gripping his cock in a constant solid hold while he fucked into him with long languid strokes. Two thousand oblivious people in the auditorium below, their obscene activities covered by the opera and Kylo’s talent. The moans and sighs and the obscene flesh-on-flesh noises of the ghost masturbating to their display.

He felt the soft tendrils of Kylo’s mind brush against his own. Were they still asleep? Did it really matter when his orgasm was coiling so close in his belly and Kylo’s cock was gently nudging his sweet spot so perfectly? Hux concentrated on the memory, dragging the details fever bright to the forefront of his mind.

They'd put on such a show for that lonely old ghost. Hux had blown Kylo with such relish while he opened himself up and luxuriated in the load that had splashed over his tongue and cheeks with an enthusiasm that would have seemed fake in anyone else. Kylo had stroked himself back to hardness watching Hux lick himself clean, then fucked him so slowly Hux had half felt he might die from it. He'd ended up narrating his own fucking for the ghosts benefit since Kylo didn't speak French and it had frankly been one of the most erotic…

Kylo tensed on top of him and Hux came quietly at the warm fluid spreading into him again.

“Luv ‘u…” Kylo slurred into his hair, the words trailing off into a snore.

Hux tried to reply but he was asleep again before he got any words out at all.

* * *

Hux frowned. And sighed. And pulled a pillow over his head in frustration. And groaned.

Nope. It was no good, he needed to pee. He was comfortable (ignoring the sticky mess between his legs where Kylo had finally slipped free in the night) and he didn't want to remove his husbands warm arm from around his waist, but his bladder was absolutely insistent on not going back to sleep until it's needs were satisfied. 

The clock said 4am. Grumbling under his breath he swung his creaky legs over the edge of the bed and sat up.

And looked straight into the transparent grey eyes of the transparent grey man sitting in the antique chair by the window. 

“Uh… Entschuldigung!”

Hux may have screamed. Just a little bit. 

Kylo sat up with a snort, shoving all the bedding down in the process. “What the f… OH. EM. GEE! Hux look! A ghost!”

The transparent man snapped his eyes closed with a look of guilty horror. “Oh my. Cover yourselves please!”

Behind him Kylo had knelt up on the bed to lean over the side, muttering to himself about the whereabouts of their specialist camera. The position put his fine tattoo'd arse on full display, shimmering pale and round in the, well, moonlight. 

“No.  _ You _ get out of our hotel room!”

Hux crossed his arms petulantly, fully aware of how he looked with his thighs and ginger pubic hair liberally smeared with their combined spend but absolutely unwilling to do anything about it for the sake of this interloper. Especially not since the man's poorly fitting late Edwardian suit did nothing to hide the tent that was forming in his lap.

There was a flash of green and a whirr as Kylo took a photograph with their modified Polaroid camera.

“Please, I didn't mean to spy on you, I swear, I just wanted to talk to you… Preferably without seeing ihre geschwollenen glied.”

“I don't think I've got one of those…” Kylo said with a frown.

“He means your prick, you prick.” Hux said grumpily, shuffling off the bed towards the en suite. “I'm going for a piss, we’ll talk to you, Herr Voyeur, when I get back.”

The man nodded hastily, his eyes still clamped shut. 

After a token effort to clean himself up, Donal pulled on the first clothes that came to hand, which turned out to be a pair of Kylo’s boxers. Of course they were too big for him, the waistband constantly threatening to slip down off his barely existent backside, but they did have the benefit of making Kylo’s gaze flare red hot when he returned to the bedroom.

Of course Kylo, totally unwilling to wear clothes at the best of times, had just put a pillow over his crotch. The chintz lump of fabric twitched and Hux wondered how much it was going cost them to replace all the bedding.

He sat heavily back onto the bed, trying to avoid the various wet patches and reached for the box of pain meds on the bedside table. His knees were killing him and their transparent visitor was already giving him a headache.

The man gave the impression of trying to make himself small. Hux estimated he was about 5’9” and of a slightly rounded build, but he held himself as if he were trying not to be noticed. In life he'd had dark hair, dark eyes and the smallest mouth Hux had seen on an adult human. He looked like an anime character brought to life. His suit really didn't fit and the cravat looked out of place over the rest of his outfit. His shoes appeared to be circa 1790 and his hair looked like it had been cut in the dark, though the man had tried to slick it back into some semblance of neatness.  

“So, how does a German ghost end up in a bed & breakfast in Torquay?” Hux asked, before adding, “you can open your eyes now.”

“I was working as a translator for the Hessian Söldner in Amerika when a wealthy politician asked me to be his uh… lover…”

Hux frowned, “in the Revolutionary War?”

“Why’s he talking about tote bags?” Kylo hissed.

“What?!? Oh for fucks sake Kylo, Hessians as in mercenaries, not hessian the fabric. You know, demonic Christopher Walken biting Queenie from BlackAdder? The Tim Burton thing?”

“Ooooh. Right. You don't look like a mercenary.”

The man shook his head,,then seemed to regret it, his hands flying up to his neck.

“I wasn't, I just für sie übersetzt… Sorry.. Just translated.”

“I'm guessing you weren't very good.” Kylo smirked.

“Fick dich!”

“Kylo, stop it.” Hux snapped before turning back to their visitor. “The American War of Independence took place in America though, this is Devon. There's at least three and a half thousand miles of ocean in the way.”

“It's a long story.” The man said a little uncomfortably.

“Well you've woken us up now, so you might as well tell us.”

“I uh, I deserted to go be a sodomite…” He stumbled over his words as both living men growled their displeasure at the word, “with this man. For twelve years we were uh, sehr in der Liebe, even though it was verboten. Or I thought we were. And he bought me many things. Lovely things. Until one day some men found out about us. The curtains had not been closed properly and they saw me ride him. I think at first they only intended to hurt us but then they saw all our beautiful things and anger turned to greed. They tried to blackmail him, they put me on a stool and strung me up from the curtain pole and told Herr Tarkin they would kick the stool away unless he told them how to get into his safe.”

The man paused, rubbing his neck as the two in the bed stared at him with open mouthed horror. At some point in the narrative they'd automatically linked hands without noticing.

“Herr Tarkin did nothing. Not even when they followed through on their threat. After I died they tortured him, but he never gave up the secret to his money. I was angry. I wanted to haunt them, to make them pay, but you cannot haunt a living person and haunting the room would not have worked since they did not live there. When they looted the house I decided to haunt one of Herr Tarkin’s gifts to me, since it was clearly valuable and they were sure to take it.”

The man smiled nastily as he waved a hand towards the chair beneath him, his sweet innocent face suddenly turning devious.

“I spent ten years then whispering into the ear of anyone close to the one who carried the gift, convincing them to kill and take it for themselves. Until one man actually opened the back and saw its secret. He was horrified. He pawned it and I stayed in a pawn shop for five years until an older man with sinful proclivities bought it. He gave it to a pretty boy just like it had been given to me. When  _ he _ was dying he gave it to a pretty boy of his own and so it went for over a century. We travelled all over the world and saw many things until just after the Great War. The man who had it then had lost his boy in the trenches and he was trying to drown his sorrows with Stricher… Uhhh hired lovers… When die Polizei came and he hid it here. I don't know what happened to him after that but  _ I've _ been stuck here for nearly a hundred years.”

Silence rang through the room, dark and terrible until Kylo broke the spell with a poorly timed interjection. “Your Deutschlish is fucking awful, man, like you're reading a script written by someone who lived with a German for five years but didn't pay any fucking attention.”

“Kylo!”

“What?! He sounds fake as fuck!”

The man leapt out of his chair and took two and a half angry steps towards the bed before he was yanked to a halt by some invisible force. His head tipped to the side within an unpleasantly meaty sound, his neck obviously distorted. It wobbled rather disgustingly as he waved a finger in their faces. “Fick dich! I haven't spoken to another human being since neunzehn siebenundfünfzig, its frankly amazing I can form a sentence at all!”

“Okay, okay, calm down.”

“I don't believe you,” Kylo said coldly, “that suits clearly circa 1910, and that chair is Art Deco, there's no way that existed any time close to the Revolutionary War and no thief in their right mind would steal it anyway! How the fuck do you hide a chair?!”

Hux put his hands over his face in despair. “Jayzus, Kylo, please try to actually  _ think _ for once.” He muttered, staggering off the bed to grab the chair. 

The ghost shivered slightly as the redhead passed through his shoulder, murmuring his own apology as he turned to watch him. 

Hux had tipped the chair up and shoved his hand into the moth eaten fabric covering the underside of the seat.

“A ha!” He cried triumphantly, waving his hand in the air and then immediately dropping its contents as he tried to catch his rapidly descending underwear. 

Kylo caught the shiny object in midair and pulled it towards him, the ghostly figure gaping at the demonstration of his telekinetic powers.

It was a gold pocket watch. 

“To my beloved.. Dop… leld… Wittaker…” he read aloud from the engraving.

“Dopheld Mitaka.” The man corrected haughtily. 

“Right, I’m Kylo Ren, this is my husband Major Donal Hux.” Kylo said distractedly as he turned the watch in his hands, trying to open the back plate.

“Yes, I know, I heard you screaming each others names a few hours ago.” 

Hux held out his hand. “Give it here, my grandpa has a dozen of these.”

Kylo shuddered.

“If creepy Sheev has one then I don't want to know what it is…. Oh.”

The watch had a perfectly normal face under one door, with an insipid scene of several men rowing boats along a river animated with tiny metal figures. The other door, however, covered an animated scene of two men with unrealistically large members spit roasting a young man with a face that looked remarkably like the ghost before them. Who was blushing, in so far as anyone with a face made of grey smoke could be said to blush.

“This is modelled on life isn't it?” Hux asked with a grin. 

“Yes.” Dopheld said quietly, his eyes on the floor. “Herr Tarkin is the one with his… in my mouth. The one behind me is General Krennic. He did enjoy his visits.”

“Niiiice.” Kylo drawled with a grin. “So you're haunting a pornographic watch?”

“Ja. I can't move more than five feet away from it.”

“So, what you just sit in that chair and watched people fuck?” Kylo asked, raising an eyebrow.

Now it was Hux that was blushing. They had rather ruined the room and now he found himself feeling uncharacteristically embarrassed to know that this ghostly little pervert had been watching it all. 

“No, no. This hotel was for old people until the current owner bought it and made it exclusively for men who love men. I used to just sort of float outside that wall whenever the old folks started… You know…”

“But now it's all gay guys you don't?”

“Well, I didn't watch you… much... after the first time… Because I could tell you'd be able to see me once the moon came up and I thought you might be able to help me.”  


Hux put his head in his hands. Pervert ghosts. Why was it always pervert ghosts?!

“What do you want from us?”

“You said you were married? Wirklich? So being a sodomite isn't bad anym…”

“Rule one- it's called being gay. Don't use that word please. But yes, some people are still prejudiced and some countries still treat it as a sin or a crime, but we can marry here and in a lot of America.”

“Hux, you're not gay. You're **PAN** sexual, hahahaha.”

“That's just speciesist, Kylo, yes Pan is a faun but not all fauns are Pan…”

“You put your cock in a goat-man, I really don't think this is the time for semantics…”

“I did not fuck the faun, the faun fucked me, as you very well know, Kylo…”

“I don't want to hear any of this.” Dopheld said, pressing his hands over his ears. “I just want to leave here and maybe find a lover of my own…”

“You want us to find you a ghost boyfriend? Oh my god that's so cute, can we Hux?!” Kylo was practically bouncing in place as he considered the opportunity to play matchmaker with D.C.’s ghost community.

“Sure.” Hux shrugged. “We’ll have to do something about that suit though. Where did you get an Edwardian suit anyway?”

“Someone burned a suit near my watch once.”

“So it became a ghost suit?”

Dopheld shrugged. “I picked it up so, yes?”

“Ok, so we can find you some nice modern clothes and some decent shoes and burn those… Yeah, I think we can make this work.”

“Vielen Dank.”

Hux stood up again and limped back towards the bathroom. “Right, well I’m going to put you in here because it's 4:30am and I want to get some sleep without knowing a German ghost is either watching me or floating creepily just outside…”

“And you promised I could come on your face…” Kylo added helpfully.

“And I hate my husband right now,” Hux muttered, to himself before looking up at Dopheld, “but this is our anniversary holiday and I’m not about to spoil his fun just because you're here, so, if you could be quiet I'd very much appreciate it.”

“I won't be visible once the moon goes down again anyway.” Dopheld said soothingly. “Good night. Have fun.” 

* * *

He sat quietly on the toilet seat long after the redhead had shut the door and the sound of snoring rumbled through from the other room. He hadn't seen this room before beyond the sliver that had been visible from the limit of previous position. It looked very shiny and modern, with a nice large bath easily big enough for the two tall men in the other room.

Mitaka smiled to himself as he wondered whether either of them would remember to move him back into the other room before they had a bath together. He rather hoped they wouldn't. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kylo called me out on my shitty Deutschlish (German/English) so you don't have to :D maybe Dopper isn't really a German at all....


End file.
